Good day and welcome to some more garbage wrote by me. Today we are going to tackle the drooling buzz word that is celebrity. Well I say tackle, more like rub, with a wire brush to cause slight irritation. If you decide to take offensive to this weeks post then there is nothing you can actually do. it exists, it has already been called into being, its to late to do anything now.
Okay, lets start of with a basic generalisation of celebrities. Celebrities are basically people with peoples lives, much like your own. I mean hey, you may have sex with less footballers and have your arse on public display to the googling readers of the Sun less. But you still are in the pool of life which also contains holy than thou celebrities. So I propose to you that there lives are just as or perhaps even less important than our own. In certain cases bad things happen e.g celebs die in car crashes or fights or become victim to extra terrestrial anal probing but that does not mean it is in any way shape or form news.
Recently some girl has split up with some bloke. Oh dear, Boo-hoo. This has happened thousands of times to hundreds of people the world over, it has just happened now. And now. And right now. People with there own lives, are making decisions about there lives without any intervention from the media. But because saint Cheryl Cole has decided to make this decision it is suddenly important, and world shatteringly awful. So awful in fact that if you tuned into your telly box last Monday you would be convinced that it was equally if not more important that the Toyota boss apologising for the shoddy workmanship on his horseless carts. Now forgive me if i’m wrong but which one of these story is going to effect the majority of the population.
Not all of us are gawping knuckle dragging swines who’s only escape from there miserable desolate monogamous lives is to read in depth about other more affluent peoples lives which are dreadful so we can smugly hold our selves and say “it could be worse”. Now I am in not saying that Miss Cole’s split up is something comical, its not, in her life it is very bad indeed. Splitting up in any respect is not pleasant, apart from quivering cells splitting up to make a baby person, dawwww. But its not news, unless it directly effects you, and does it my good man, no. Of course not! And that is the truth.
There was that ridicules period last year when the split between a pair of boobs with a bint hanging off them and a bloke who sung something once was front page news. This disastrous display of tabloid garbage was on every news stand across the country for months become ever moisturised by the collective tears of people mourning the death of common sense, truth and people who are aware that there more in the world than idle gossip and vodka ÂŁ1 a shot. We where then encouraged to take sides, but why? Because thats how you separate the parmo-hugging vommit-inducing moron faced homobrainless from people who see the bigger picture.
There was team Katy, which was full of thickies who had watched ITV2 for roughly 1 second and where brainwashed by the life of someone who cant take a crap without it being filmed and broadcast as if it was the most initiative and exceptional thing since sliced mud.. There was also team Peter, full of very much the same crowd as team Katy but for some reason they believed there detest of her would be displayed well by siding with her gormless spouse. And then there was team sane, which was roughly made up of the population of the planet that have any idea of how the world works, our place within and wether or not opinions actually mattered one jot.
Last but not least in this rant I want to mention the recent John Terry news. Heres a basic sum up of what happened, which took the media two weeks to explain. Married man has sex with his friends ex. Woopy-de-sodding doo. In any context this is bad news. It is intolerable behaviour and the mans goolies should be chopped and fed to a shark with hast.
But what really got my goat was that it was put in the papers, and the world went mad. ‘he’s a football player, our children respect him, and then he goes and does something like that’. What a totally half-witted thing to say, do you know this man personally? No! Do you know any information apart form the heavily edited news coverage? No! All you know is what you have been told by the media. And also the only reason you beloved children or indeed anyone know about this common place occurrence was because the media considered it world shattering news. If they hadn’t of mentioned it you wouldn’t know, he’d still be captain, and in the long run the world would of carried on as usual.
It is just silly the way that people think they have any business discussing the private lives of people. Just people, it may of started out a simple stab at his moral compass but it turned into a huge debate about what we should and shouldn’t know about celebs. At this point I would like to point out that she was also in the affair so where are her grounds to to take such a distressed maiden act, she’s a fire breathing dragon to publicly disgrace someone for something that she helped facilitate.
Well he’s no longer a captain, well done for that, now children have been poisoned against there hero. You gave the poison to the media, and the blew the dart. And when is she going the the stocks? Yes thats right nothing has happened to her because she wasn’t ‘anyones hero’, what a gratuitously unfair system.
The message that seems to be flung at us like a warm fistful of chimps rectum nuggets in this story is that it is okay to have an affair as long as your not famous It is preposterously daft and it makes my blood boil and hands shake irrationally above this keyboard to create this ranting abysmal chunk of hate. And now you have opened the free speech window, and all manner of loud mouthed swines are fighting for any aspect of a celebrities life to become public so they can become alienated and hated. Well done.
So heres my final comment on this bizarre behaviour. I do not hold all the facts, no one does apart from the people involved. You don’t hold the facts and neither does the media, they and you know what you have been told by the people, and that is more often than not a heavily bias watered down version of the truth. If you want to read about how peoples lives fall apart why not just read one of those sickly bright glossy magazines in which every aspect of someone’s life is ripped apart from what they look like when they go to get milk in the morning to the bringing up of there children. This horribly unfair stem of the media should not be included in the news, its not news its nosey revolting intrusive tosh.
People are so concerned with celebrities that they cant see that bad stuff happens, all over the world. But for some reason they seem only concerned with what her off of EastEnders is doing with her life, never mind the thousands of break ups, deaths and all forms of dreadfulness that have occurred while you where making your tea this morning.
There is no happy witty sign of today because I feel like an enraged youtube commenter that has nothing better to do than complain, and link anything and everything to the Nazis. I am just livid that people think they have the right to interfere with other peoples lives just because there face was on TV once. It does not concern you or involve you. It is in no way going to effect your life. Just rip all this tripe out of you papers and pay attention to what is going on in the real world town. Leave people alone. Be they celebrities or non-celebrities there personal lives are none of our business. And it is a terrible shame that so many people think it is.
